My Body on Drugs

My Body on Drugs By Jody Bahre

When I was on drugs, my body didn’t really belong to me—it belonged to the drugs. When I first started using, it was only on the weekends and for fun but that changed very quickly. Before I knew it, the drugs owned me– I wasn’t using them for social reasons or for an escape—I couldn’t live without them.  It was hard just to get out of bed without having substances to alter my mind. If I didn’t have any means of using when I first woke up, sometimes I didn’t get out of bed at all for the day. This meant not going to work, to school, and hardest of all, not spending time with the family. I was sick without drugs.

I couldn’t even perform simple household tasks like making my bed, cleaning the house, doing laundry, and other chores. It was even a struggle to brush my teeth, take a shower, and get dressed. There were many days when I didn’t even do any of the above.

Different drugs affected me in different ways. I missed many important appointments, lost jobs, and worst of all, I lost others people’s trust. I was incapable of being either responsible or dependable, no matter how much I wanted to be.  Once I consumed alcohol or other mind-altering chemicals, I lost the power of choice. And I didn’t care. Today I am in recovery and happier than ever! I have a wonderful sense of freedom when I wake up and can hop out of bed. I look forward to what the day is going to bring. I am accountable now, and people trust me when I say I am going to do something. I am able to be there for my family and friends. I go to school full time and do a lot of volunteer work. When I am sick and take a day off these days, it is normally just for a minor headache or a cold. I would not trade where I am today for what I was in the past on any given day.  I finally  have my body back.

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